My Thoughts on Myself…

There are times — many more of late than before — when I reflect on the journey so far with a combination of wonder and frustration. Wonder in that I’ve been so vastly over-blessed with the family and friends that have surrounded me since birth, a profusion of love and support that no man could ever earn… frustration that I’ve given back such an inadequate return on their life’s investment in me, particularly in response to the gifts that I was given to start with.

The raw material has been there — almost fifty years of professional life, with meaningful roles and controlling positions in multiple industries and entities… forty-five years of the love and support of my dearest friend and extraordinary partner… the teachings and ever-present incentive of my special blessings, my children, their chosen loves and now my grandchild… the mentorship and trust of so many brilliant and accomplished teachers and friends.

The dear Lord did his part, providing me with a clear mind and the capacity to learn, to understand and to communicate. My parents provided the love and belief to become anything, to do anything… and the model of a loving relationship from which to forge my own. Other than some episodic physical challenges, my tool box was over-filled with gifts and currencies, and the freedom to use them however I saw fit.

I should have provided my family and their progeny an unlimited universe, a world where they, and all of the generations to come, were wholly unrestricted by their circumstances… and as of today, I have not. Yet, it is a particular conceit, promoted by them and accepted by myself, that if that is my goal, I can yet accomplish that specific objective. They are clear — they have no wish for it, no evident need for it, no awaiting of its arrival… but they believe in me, and they would greatly enjoy seeing me at peace for having done it.

I have accomplished this much: I have had some part in giving this world a family of brilliant people, loving and open, who in turn have shared their specialness with many of those around them, multiplying themselves. I have devoted much of my time, energy and resources to attempting to elevate and preserve hundreds of precious young lives, and none of that is regretted or extraneous. I have made it a joyous mission to make my love and devotion to my wife a daily exercise, and to try and be worthy of her own ever present love.

It is not that I have regrets… that would be beyond greedy and ignorant. It is that I know how few people have been given the gifts that I have, and that it feels an obligation for me to make the best use possible of those blessings… and I have miles to go before I can feel I have lived up to that obligation. Having left nothing in arrears when it comes to my loving of my loves, I have the freedom to focus on the smaller things remaining, and a hope to have the chance to correct that failing at last.

These writings and thoughts are the fragmented byproducts of that continuing journey.

I can be reached at gadornato@gmail.com

Please leave your comments and thoughts directly on the post that you are referencing; I am sincerely interested in your thoughts. If you’d specifically like a reply, please feel free to email me at the above address.

Thank you all, Gary